San Francisco Psychological Association is Co-Sponsoring with CPA
Infidelity: After the Affair, Who Owns the Relationship?
Presented by Marty Klein, PhD, 3 CE Credits
August 7, 2021, 10:00 AM – 1:15 PM Via Live Webinar
SFPA Members – No Fee, Non-Members $40, Non-Member Student $25
Every therapist deals with affairs—sexual, emotional, internet. And although most of us say we use a systems approach, it’s hard to maintain that perspective when cases are framed as involving a selfish Betrayer and a heartbroken Betrayed. Or a deprived, desperate partner and an indifferent, withholding mate.
Supporting the dignity and humanity of both parties gives a couple the best chance to investigate reconciliation. The common clinical idea that the Betrayer has to beg forgiveness and accept whatever relationship the Betrayed demands is a disservice to both parties, and it typically leads to client dropouts or treatment failure. Illuminating and challenging patients’ stereotypes about both power and sexuality is vital.
The current clinical focus on Attachment presents a limited understanding of the many and complex reasons that people have sex. The EFT model presents a simplistic model of sexual desire that simply does not fit with the lived experience of many of our patients. The post-infidelity clinical strategy of Full Therapeutic Disclosure reinforces dysfunctional power relationship dynamics, and focuses on a single kind of sexual betrayal, ignoring the wide variety of distorted sexual decision-making common in couples struggling with infidelity.
Course participants will learn fresh ways of looking at affairs, fidelity, and sexuality—so that they can better evaluate patients, sort out individual and relationship issues, and help people heal from the experiences of powerlessness, grief, rage, and damaged self-esteem that are common on both sides of infidelity.
Course topics will include:
- *Why are affairs so common?
- *The typical belief that the Betrayed acquires power as a result of being betrayed.
- *How much is sex an issue in most affairs?
- *How should we handle the Betrayed’s demands for cellphone records, text messages, email passwords, and other personal material?
- *How can we get couples to explore reconciliation as partners rather than as adversaries?
- *Helping clients draw and maintain boundaries around the wounded relationship.
Introduction: goals, format, vocabulary
Clinical assumptions & cultural norms regarding monogamy
Existential issues needing management within monogamy Infidelity as a psychological escape from existential pressures
Power dynamics in the management of infidelity
11:45 am-12:15 pm
Narratives of powerlessness, victimhood, and impulsivity
Paradoxes of betrayal: Wanting to reconcile while in pain; Developing trust while in pain
Assessing a couple’s sexual relationship Developing reasonable sexual goals
Supporting couples in handling infidelity collaboratively
This webinar is designed to help you:
* Assess the power dynamics in relationships after the discovery of infidelity
* List the intrapsychic issues often implicated in infidelity
* Describe the advantages and disadvantages of the concept of “emotional affair”
* Describe the clinical assumptions around sexual exclusivity, and how they can undermine clinical
* Identify the dynamics of successful reconciliation after infidelity
* Assess a post-infidelity couple’s sexual relationship
Dr. Marty Klein has been an MFT and Certified Sex Therapist for over 35 years. He is the award- winning author of seven books about sexuality. Dr. Klein appears frequently in national media including the New York Times, National Public Radio, and the Daily Show. A qualified forensic expert in sexuality, he recently gave two Congressional briefings on evidence-based sex education. Having presented over 1,000 keynote and training programs in the U.S. and forty countries, Dr. Klein has been honored by many professional associations, including CAMFT, AASECT, and SSSS.
CPA is co-sponsoring with SFPA. The California Psychological Association is approved by the American Psychological Association to sponsor continuing education for psychologists. CPA maintains responsibility for this program and its contents.
Important Notice: Those who attend the workshop and complete the CPA evaluation form will receive 3 continuing education credits. Please note that APA CE rules require that we give credit only to those who attend the entire workshop. Those arriving more than 15 minutes after the start time or leaving before the workshop is completed will not receive CE credits.